I heard and add for getting Meth off the streets, need help
go to meth resources where we come together as a community.
I first got on and saw “Want to Help My Husband” my heart
swelled with pain because I too want to help my husband, and I read and read, I
cry, my heart goes out because I feel the same heart ache inside.
I’m sorry but I’m not
SATISFIED. Reality is we are ALL
victims!!!
1) The USER
They have fight his/hers demons, and want to quit or get
help before progress is made, and even at that it doesn’t guarantee relapse. They have no control of there emotions,
thoughts, feelings, and actions. Based
on my research on Meth the areas of brain, and other bodily functions, the DRUG
controls them making them into people we don’t know or recognize. We see glimpse of the person we love between
there ups and downs, BUT the only answer I keep getting over and over is “Bottom
LINE they THE USER has to want to quit !!!!
2) The Non User Victims
Mothers, Fathers, Wives, Husbands, Children – how many of us
feel helpless. How many of us watch our
love ones suffer emotionally, physically, mentally with whatever substance
abuse they struggle with. We can’t do
anything. Oh we try. Before you know years go days, months, even
years go by. You go back and forth, you
try different approaches, sometimes different results, sometimes success for a
period of time, but what changes. We ALL
feel the hurt, the heartache; we struggle emotionally, physically, financially.
We are all faced with the question - What
should I Do? We all reach our breaking
points when we look around and have to think – Should I Leave?
No matter who you are or what side you are from– it is an unpleasant
experience all the way around. You have
NO control of your life as the user and the victim. And yet all each one wants is things the back
to “normal” whatever that might have been of any of us.
WHAT help is
there?!?!?!?!?!?!? This is why I’m NOT satisfied and I want MORE
As a Wife of the addict
I’m struggling – I’m juggling my job, 3 kids all under the
age of 11 (my daughter 6, and two step children 10& 5) – I feel alone, I
can’t really talk to my husband because no matter my approach I need something
from him – this need is too demanding that whether he is HIGH or NOT 98% of the
time anything I really want to talk to my husband about will turn into a
fight!!
My family – Loves
me they get quite defensive depending on what I choose to tell them, but there
is always the undertone whether direct or indirectly they make sure to let me
know they would rather see me safe, and not hurt, to leave, we love you, I know
you care about your step children, but that’s not your problem. – I know they are RIGHT but how does that help
me other than reassuring me I’ll be ok when I tear my heart in half and finally
LEAVE.
My step children’s other
half - I have a 10 year old
stepdaughter, who has never had anyone take her school shopping before I came
in the picture, the little things like talking about school, boys, problems,
she has never had because she has been raised by two men (her father and uncle)
and her mom in the meantime has been in a relationship with a man – both them
use drugs – She has been on Meth since my step daughter was born and never been
able to fully quit – her and her BF has been in and out of jail, can’t keep a
job, and half the time they don’t even have a phone to keep in touch with my
step daughter – what does she have to look forward to -
My step son is 5 – his mother has been hooked since she was
11 yrs old – she was born high – her mother has always been in and out of rehab
– and so the apple didn’t fall from the tree. It was about 6 months into my marriage when my
husband and I where getting very disturbing phone calls about my step sons
mothers and that if we didn’t go get him CPS would – I had, HAD IT – I put my
foot down I told them how it was going to be – I got the court paperwork I
helped my husband for this little boy, our day in court came things where going
good, but them because of my husbands past they made him do a drug test – his came
back positive for METH – hers negative. What
a whirlwind that reality check was for me.
I have been very supportive of her progress – she has barley been clean
for 3 months now but her life is coming together – I haven’t told her yet –
My Husbands family
– Well I have had to fight every single one of them – defending myself for
making decisions like calling the cops, hiding money (speaking of I got new
accounts etc – with signature protection, photo id, yet he still manage to
steal money for my new account), getting a PO BOX just so I can get the bills– It is like he has
hidden his problem so good that – there is nothing wrong with my husband – it is
all me. He never had these problems
until he married me. It took a 1 ½ years
until I finally found PROOF in my house 2 pipes I had to take them to
physically show everyone in his family – print all the information on METH and
side effects, as well as these benzo pills he has been accumulating – finally
they accept the TRUTH – but my husband is SMART ( I moved out about a week ago)
guess now my husband has time for mom and dad – as long as they see he is OK
for a bit – then I’m back to being the wife who makes up things – and if I wait
to long they will convince him that I’m not a good wife living in my own place
etc.
I’M Tired – I’m
tired of holding it all in to just get through a day. I’m tried of crying in the shower because it
is the only alone time I have to myself from the kids. Times that I want to SCREAM I look at them and
try to hold it together. They see me
make dinner with tears streaming down my eyes, or barley making it through a
dinner I prepared that my husband is too preoccupied to eat with us, I hold it
together when all there allowance money mysteriously disappears, when I can
barely buy food and clothes.
What HELP IS THERE
I have called and yelled and screamed with all the people he
has been associated with that has any filiations to drugs or pills. I have reported each of them to the police – address,
phone numbers, with all the things they are involved with – NOTHING has been
done.
Through arguments – that I understand now were a result of
my husband being high – I have had to call the cops – but because I didn’t wait
until he got abusive nothings been done no arrests were made
I try getting in programs for help they always want money –
oh by the way – I live in a small town in the middle of agriculture/farm land,
we don’t even have a hospital so finding LOCAL help has been almost impossible.
I have medical bills that I need to pay
because of two months that my husband actually brought home money we were
denied medi-cal. I finally have it now
but I still owe out of pocket for the time I went before coverage. I went to the DR’s because I was pregnant –
the day after my husband slammed into the wall I was bleeding, I had to have surgery
and no matter what I did because I was married I could qualify.
So I find the pipe – I leave this Thursday will be 2 weeks. So far I have seen my husband cry and get
emotional, but nothing has changed nor has he opened up or admitted to me
anything. I get to work and read about
more wives who struggle. And I’m angered.
Because unless WE read to understand and investigate and
watch we learn nothing of the struggle our “loved” ones go through – but what
help is the government, law enforcement agencies doing.
What help is really given to children who get disowned and
passed to foster families, what help is there for married spouses – single income
families who have children to feed and clothe and provide a roof for – what
aide is there to have daycare services discounted, medical services you can
afford, What help is there. We are left
to write Forums and count on each other.
Unless WE – do something for OURSELF'S and Come together we
will always left helpless in our own fights behind closed doors – reaching out
only to discover we need to work harder to understand the Substance Abuse – but
at night laying down to sleep you are alone trying to figure out what your next
move would be.
Even though I have left – I hope for the best – but being
that it has been almost two weeks the pain is still present –
All of you who are looking for help - Please tell me what is OUT
there because maybe I missed something. But who in POWER that can help cares about me or you or OUR struggles - YES we will meet an occasional person, or program and HELPS but on a worldwide (no that to big) Individual State (no thats to big) individual city (no thats to big) Individual Community - neighbor hood maybe just a 5 mile radius - WE have NO control, and I'm not seeing the LAW helping. I don't mean to be bitter what really if this is designed to be a community for getting REAL help - then lets talk about getting together as a community and doing something. Thats what I want. That is what I wish for each and every victim who reads this.
Whatever we all decided never loose faith, and always pray, somehow despite everything my faith in a God being real has given me the most strength of all to keep going.
Dianna